Realistic Expectations vs Faith In Finding A Spouse - Part 2 : One Heart - by Alfred
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Scriptures Referenced In This Broadcast:
Matthew 21:18-22 KJV
Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered. [19] And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away. [20] And when the disciples saw it, they marvelled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away! [21] Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. [22] And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
James 2:18 KJV
Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.
James 2:26 KJV
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
{Automated Transcript. Contains Typos. Not Yet Edited By A Human}:
hello everybody i'm alfred i am listening to one hearts now this is the second part of the broadcast realistic expectations versus fits in finding a spouse now i talked about what's going on right now online when it comes to the world of
lifestyle you know and relationship question you know this move of women being realistic which what they want in a man you know that and phrases like um average women you know or or women who are average you know once men who are you know high-value men and all of that i've talked about several of these classifications you know in as much as it may look realistic you know that's certain people should not reach out of their league to find a spouse the reality of the matter that especially for women women since the beginning of time have been getting men that are out of their reach you know like look at cinder cinderella the cinderella story you know that is the way it has always been women as a matter of fact as a principle women are attracted to men that are higher than them or above them they either in earnings or everywhere else so that is the way it has always been so when you are trying to apply certain standards that seem to make common sense it is not the reality of what goes on when you are like saying that um because a woman may not be that beautiful or may not have this level of education or may not be this exposed because she has this this this she should look for a man within that range that is not how women think and for a long time women have been getting men out of you know out of their range you know out of their income class and on classes higher than them right from you know look at the nights a lot of nights married beautiful meetings some married meetings that were not so pretty i mean look at the look go to a gallery or go online and look at the pictures of all the queens of england look at the pictures of all of them how many of them are actually beautiful you know on on a scale of you know um when you when in comparison with other women you know how many of them are actually how many of them would you say i 10 are you going to tell me that that woman was the most beautiful woman in the land in her day you see look at the pictures it speaks for itself so men have different reasons you know the men are
very different and you know that that is why you have not seen you know you cannot have you ever seen a beautiful homeless girl or a beautiful homeless woman that is between the ages of 15 and 38 or even 40. have you ever seen any homeless woman that is beautiful that is within the age of 15 and unfortunate no in spite of the fact that a lot of the financial circumstances that puts men in such positions hits women also perhaps even more you know it it is it's not really um subject to presence when it comes to um the reality of making money but the point of the matter is that women are different if a woman was beautiful let us say that a somebody who was as beautiful as jennifer lopez or when she was young or you know um a supermodel you know in the real sense of supermodel not all this modern day um charity that they are doing and putting fat ugly women on the cover of magazines in the name of inclusion not that um kind of so-called beauty if a woman was a supermodel and was out of money do you know how many men will rush to her age of course there will be the end and expectation of either the advent there will be some that wants marriage there'll be some that want to sleep with her but there are some that will do it for even be controlled because there are a lot of sims around the number of men that seems has completely increased so you can't see women in those positions no homeless woman there is no beautiful homeless woman in this world anywhere in the world you can never see it you know if a woman baths you know and i'm not talking about you now trying to think about places like india or in a poor community where everybody else is poor i'm talking about in in a place where there are people that can be comfortable as a matter of fact even in that place where everybody else is poor if that rumor if a woman is beautiful not by the standards of this modern day feminist women beautiful by the standards of men who are the ones that are doing the judging of of what a woman's beauty is if a woman is beautiful and homeless apart from the fact that there is an industry called the sex trafficking industry that would that actually looks to mop up such women from the system or even creates women from places where they are even comfortable and bring them into that sister you would not see a homeless beautiful woman it doesn't exist because there are men everywhere who are willing to give her money or to help her or either with the aim of hopefully the um she will agree to sleep with me or perhaps i may get to marry her but that is just the reality of the matter you know men don't have that you know but the point i'm trying to show you is that men don't look have standards like that a man can be a billionaire and marry a papa a female as long as she is perhaps beautiful or smart there are a lot of look at the 90-day fiance stuff you know look look at look at what is going on man can a man who has money does not mind marrying as long as he thinks the woman the woman may not even speak his language she may not know anything about civilization but you know
she's beautiful in his eyes and then he picks and of course there's the aspect of um different levels of um beauty when it comes to interpretation and men who look for different things yeah most men that don't care about beauty you know because especially when they have been with a lot of beautiful women and they have treated them a certain way and all they have seen is that they are go diggers so what they put as their priorities something else so all these factors um are to be considered when you look at this modern movement of people who are giving relationship advice online and all of that you know a lot of what they are saying in the name of being realistic is actually things that um fits them they are looking at that they are trying to build women up to what they want but you have to understand that men want different things in a woman there are some men that want a woman that has a job that is um that is making money did that they really like that that is very important to them but there are some men that want a woman to start whom that is very important as a matter of fact the intelligence that most those a lot of those kind of men we end up going after a girl that's or a woman that has a job or that is a high executive and perhaps they make more then when they marry how when they get to a relationship with her they want her to leave all of that i mean if you you are that kind of person you should have gone for somebody who does not have a job to begin with and who does who does not care about having drugs and who is a homebody you know that is what you should have looked for not trying to change people you know after you get into a relationship with them or marry them that never works that is crazy you know people need to stop doing that stop trying to change people after i get into a relationship with them know yourself and it is from who you are you will know what fits you then you now decide you know what kind of person and it will actually tell you where to look for example if you have somebody who you spend on your time let's say a writer and you spend all your time you know just by yourself reading books like let's say that somebody like warren buffett he spends all his time reading financial statements that is how he he spends a lot of his time that is what he even when he goes on vacations like in the early days he goes with newspapers and he's reading financial statements if you are that kind of person you can't look out for what you like you there are sentences that may attract you you just like certain things yeah there's a lot of things that you may find beautiful but what fits you you know you may look out for a woman and you may see a woman that you find attractive and all of that but yeah don't don't look out because that is not a problem there are many um things that you may like but look at this aspect of your character and this fundamental part of who you are just like some people are uh uh kind of hemis they don't go outside they like to start home you if you are somebody who likes to start whom you know perhaps you are wealthy are rich you have people doing everything for you you like but you like to stay out of you you are not an outdoor person you cannot just go out when you want to have relationship and look for oh this person is beautiful you will find somebody that you you actually find interesting but now being in a relationship with that person now means that you either have to change or that person has to change and become a hemi like you or you now have to become outdoorsy in the same way somebody who is always reading financial statements or you are you're a writer you just stare at someone you you are the kind of person that you you can stay in you know somewhere that is fine we are just right and right and right that is what you do that aspect of your character has already modeled for you the kind of woman or the kind of relationship with also with a spouse perhaps you're a woman and you're a writer you you you like to be on your own you know it's it has that aspect of your character has already created a kind of man that you look for you can't not want a businessman that is always going left right and center that is always traveling the world when you are somebody that wants to live that life so your lifestyle itself has already created a model or a list of what you what you should want in a spouse so that is what you should base this on and people need to re understand you know that in addition to that when it comes to this topic of realistic expectations versus fits you know and saying that um oh this woman that's oh because you have you don't have education you don't have this you don't have that it's crazy for you to expect to marry a millionaire billionaire and all of that is cr you know a woman should not be looking at wanting to marry someone who is rich look at you who are you what do you like you are looking for somebody that will be an addiction to you first of all on your own you should be complete if you feel whole and certified as a single person but you are looking to get into a relationship with somebody who is going to help you advance you who bring out even more of the best in you who will take you to the next level who who will strengthen your relationship with god and most importantly help you on your pathway of your destiny let us say that a very beautiful supermodel slash actor a very famous person finds you attractive and wants to be in a relationship with you but you believe that it is your destiny for you to be a missionary in africa or or perhaps to work with doctors without borders and you want to dedicate your whole life with it and nobody is going to change your mind you are going to be traveling from one african village to the other um working in the medical industry you know helping people out with um their medical needs and trying to start up sick base and hospitals if that is what you are sure that you want to and nobody can change your mind why would you not want to be in a relationship with the hollywood celebrity she may be interested in you she may be a wonderful person maybe a nice but she may find her nice but the point of the matter is that your destiny what she wants and what she wants are two different things she wants to be in hollywood making movies you want to be in africa going from village to village healing um operating situation and healing and helping people that is what you want how do these things match so now if you get into a relationship it's bound to be trouble you know so you you have to think about you understand who are you and it is who you are that you create that and understand another thing it is best for some people not to get married apostle paul one of the reasons why he was so effective was because he did not get married he was only concerned his mind was one way about the things of god i'm taking this gospel and that is why he was able to take risks that nobody else was able to take for the gospel nobody else took as many risks as a missionary in those elite days than upon support or record and what helped him was because he was not married and he did not have biological children so that responsibility and all of that was not there and that is what he meant when he was saying that you know when one is my they are concerned about things of the flesh pleasing their wife you know and all of that they have duties they you know you have to understand that in christianity you have to love your wife like christ not the church that means you are willing to die for your wife if you are willing to die for your wife how can you then god risk your life in preaching the gospel in a way in a place where you may get killed you are living your responsibility so for somebody who is not married you know they can take advantage of the opportunity and be blessed for it but for somebody who is married you're doing that it's not it's not god's perfect way you know you are doing god's work but it's not completely pleasing to god because now you are putting yourself in danger and you know what about your responsibility to your wife
you see even when it comes to fasting your fasting is subject to the agreement between you and your wife or your spouse if you're a woman you know you're your husband you know he's a factor in how long you can fast because if he says he wants to you know get busy you have to make plans to summarize that you're fast you know and you cannot be fasting and you know having fun as a husband and wife you know in that manner you know going um um under the sheets and all of that when you are fasting that the first thing is you know you're separating yourself you know from food and you know from those kinds of pledges you want to concentrate so that is what apostle paul was talking talking about when he when he said what he said you know regarding you know um fasting and you know not holding off you know when it comes to relationship sex foreign you know which which is what he was talking about and that also says that when you are in a relationship with somebody this doesn't just apply to fasting if the man wants to have sex and you know the best the woman can do is shadow you know with period stuff and even periodontal period there are different ways to and different positions to periodontal period you know so the the point is that she has her responsibility to pleasing him and seeing that that part of his um desires is um constantly satisfied the same way the man has that responsibility to the woman that is the bible but we live in a damn age especially thanks to feminism feminism has made things worse and that is why marriages lasted longer back in the day because this what i'm explaining to you now is called marital responsibility marital responsibility means if the husband is horny the wife has her responsibility to satisfy his need if the wife is honey the husband has his responsibility it is a commandment he has to do it is his responsibility as someone who is married but in today's modern day and age a lot of married people don't can't remember the last time they had sex yes the sexual desires are still there so as time goes on it is not somebody that is outside the marriage that you now shoot those sexual desires and then everybody will say that infidelity this and infidelity say that you know if a man is well fed at home he wouldn't have any room in his stomach to feed outside understand that sexual appetite is sexual appetite if a man has sufficient sex in the morning what where would he get the energy from to go and have sex in the office with the secretary from what's energy where'd he get that energy you know because they're associated as a sexual appetite and you know um range and ability you know
these are these are realities once he's satisfied when he's satisfied he's satisfied until the next time but when you leave someone hanging in between such long periods especially marriages where they have not had sex for years they are building themselves a piece and that is against the bible the bible according to the bible you shouldn't see that what possible was explaining was even you know it shouldn't go past the day you shouldn't go back past an hour you know it shouldn't go past hours
you know so that is something that um you have to understand but i would love to talk about the aspect of faith as christians we walk by faith and a lot of things that happen to us is by faith a lot of things that people achieve is by faith if there was no faith and people were not stretching even people in the world they aim high you've heard the phrase reach for the stars you know you know and all that and reach for the moon stuff and you know you know that's stretching you know that believing that you can accomplish something that is so out of reach that even the world has we as christians it is that is our domain we live by that we live by faith so there's nothing wrong with a woman expecting that she will marry somebody that is you know way out of her league you know it is not um um something that should be looked upon as crazy or discouraged that oh this woman is average by what standards are you calling her average and even if she's average let us see that let us say that she's average there are men that has proven do not care about that you know every man has what he's looking for and that's most men that actually want that you know a lot of is women that are actually more picky than men when it comes to this you know like i've explained women like somebody that is on their level or above them that is part of what makes them that is what's part of what attracts them you know women are always looking at that but of course they tend to get more realistic the older they get when they start getting older their their standards and some of all those things starts you know the kind of men they will now say yes to are not men that would have they would have said yes to yesterday's previous prior to that so those are things you know but you have to understand the aspect of it the same thing with the guy a guy can look outside of his range and of course understand that people are growing people grow so that is very important but this um ex this trying to make mathematics out of relationships of oh you have to have this and this and this for you to be a high value woman and then you can get a high value man or high value men this and high value women this all of this is crazy and understand that a lot of all this advice that does not come from the word of god we land you in soup you cannot base your life based on mass advice or smart thinking or something that sounds intelligent you you base your life on the word of god what does the word of god say look at what has happened to a lot of people that base their life and their advice on what man says it never ends well so learn to be smart you know and follow the word i've explained to you on finding a spouse it starts with you you look at you who are you you know what is your life like and then that in itself has already created what we best fit with you and with with knowing that you will know where to find what best suits with you where you will find that kind of person if you have somebody who is you know your passion is looking at financial statements and reading through financial assessments of companies you know that has already kind of told you you know where you will find someone who you know would make a great spouse a woman who is also interested in that you know there are groups so that there are there are places where you you would find you know clearly you know um clusters of those who are investors and you can find a woman among them understand something you don't have to marry the most beautiful woman that you have seen or the most beautiful woman that you have seen that is interested in you you know that is not the criteria and you must learn to live with that and the same thing with women you may you you don't have to marry the richest the wealthiest and the most good-looking man that you see you have to know who you are and who fits best with you you know it is because people are putting the wrong things first they put women put how good looking at how well he is are both more important things gone are the days when women looked looked at how honorable he was you know character when when women looked at how honest he was you know how did he treat others how did he treat people that were not in his own class how did he treat the maids they helped the witches you know the gates man you know the security man how did he treat other people all those kinds of things used to be tops when women were looking for a suitor but now it is not there they look at the man's statues his class his place in society you know is he is he a a a mover shaker you know is he a captain of industry you know what is his wealth bracket that is what they are looking at so you end up getting men who are who cannot zip up because you really you do not care about you know what is important you do not care about kindness you know you you you are married to someone who has no kindness who who you know that is even strange
he his mind yet he shows you zero kindness because that was not a priority that was not important it was how good looking and how wealthy he was that was more important how comfortable he was able to make you how much of a provider he was able to be worse he's a here he is he because of the lack of um more important thing you you are now saying that because you did not put kindness first in spite of the fact that he can provide for you the kindness is limiting his his even deprivation so even the thing that is um carnal and um worldly and you know crazy which which attracted you to him you're not even really getting you know so that they said i would like you to go to alfred vip and subscribe you know join the investors club you know be a part of our investment community uh investments you know club and also if you've not given a life to christ click on the salvation prayer link in the main menu of alfredo's vip and you know say the prayer day and give your life to jesus christ thank you and god bless you